His Scars & Mine

“If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.”

1 John 1:6-10

Sin has a very particular power over a person when he or she keeps it hidden. We think that if we don’t let anyone know what really goes on in hearts or behind closed doors, then they won’t see how broken we really are. So sin wants to stay hidden. And it will use shame to make sure we do just that. “If anyone knew the truth about you, they’d think you were disgusting,” it says. “You’d lose you’re closest friends, and no one would ever look at you the same way.” And if we believe the lies, we’ll hide. We’ll pretend to be ok, and allow sin to do its destructive work inside of us, eating away at us, until that fake shell is all that is left of us.

But the gospel tells us something completely different. The gospel says that in our weakness, Jesus is made strong. The gospel says that we have no secrets, no sin, of which God cannot forgive us. The gospel tells us that God’s grace is so much deeper than our sin, or our ability to sin. And so Jesus tells us to bring our sins out into the light. James 5:16 instructs us to confess our sins to one another, and pray for each other so that we may be healed. Jesus says that if we let the world see us for who we really are, then they will see Him for who He really is. Because when we admit our inadequacy, we are telling the world that we need a Savior who is powerful enough to forgive even our worst acts, and deepest shame. And the world will see that Jesus is that Savior.

There’s a funny thing about the scars left behind by our sin. And for many of us, we have wounds that aren’t even scars yet—they’re open and hurting worse than ever. But when we uncover our scars, and kneel before the throne of Jesus, and we ask Him to heal our scars, miracles happen. You see, when I show my scars to Jesus and ask for help, He shows me His. I see the holes in His hands and His feet, and in His side. I see the stripes of a whip across His back. I see how He got them all for me. And as Jesus shows me His scars, mine begin to heal. 

Good & Faithful Servants

I’ve never been to a Mars Hill (Seattle) Church campus. I’ve watched quite a few sermons online, and even received an offer to intern at one of the Seattle campuses. But in spite of so little contact with their church, tonight I was profoundly touched by their ministry. I took the time to watch their latest video project, “God’s Work, Our Witness”—their new documentary tracing the life of the church back to its most humble beginnings. I listened as Pastor Mark described the difficulty with which he had attempted to answer God’s call on his life to plant churches. I saw pictures and old video footage of how rough things were early on. I heard stories from people who had been a part of it all from the beginning. There were people who weren’t anywhere close to being church-going Christians who accepted Christ, and joined in Pastor Mark’s efforts when Mars Hill was a homeless, nomadic body of rag-tag believers trying to learn how church worked. They faced trials. They faced opposition. They faced discouragement. They faced failure. And yet they stayed faithful.

            After years of struggling to keep their church in tact, Mars Hill began to finally experience growth. It wasn’t prosperity just yet, but it was encouraging. And as people started coming to hear Mark present the gospel, they were finally seeing the fruits of their labor. But just as the title would suggest, it wasn’t actually their labor that was drawing inexplicable crowds. Their toil was in service to the One who was really at work all those years. It was God who was calling those people to him. And the staff, and faithful members of that early Mars Hill Church were filled with joy at the sight of God’s name being lifted high above their own. This was so beautifully exemplified last Easter at Quest Field, home of the Seattle Seahawks. Nearly 20,000 people gathered to worship the Lord, many of whom were coming to be baptized for the first time. Many football fans may know of a popular ritual at Seahawks games, wherein a privileged individual raises the Seattle flag high above the stadium. And on that particular Sunday, the flag they raised was a white banner with red letters that simply said “Jesus.” It almost sounds cheesy, doesn’t it? Raising the Jesus flag. But after hearing the story of where this church had come from, and seeing where it’s come today, seeing that flag raised above 20,000 worshippers, all celebrating its ascent, I choked up. I couldn’t help it. It was such an incredible moment to witness.

            What I learned from the story of Mars Hill was this: when I know what God calls me to do, I am expected to faithfully answer His call. And the truth is that sometimes He’ll call me somewhere that may be so dark that I won’t know up from down, and all I’ll be able to do is cling tightly to Him, trusting that He knows what He’s doing. And success won’t be about my fame, or my comfort. I’ll know I’ve succeeded when I can stand with the people He’s put in my life, and with them, celebrate the name of Jesus being lifted high.

            In seeing how they have so humbly given themselves over for the work of the Lord, I have no doubt that the men and women who have helped grow Mars Hill Church will one day stand before God and hear Him say to them, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I want to hear those words, too. I want to give my life to lifting high the name of Jesus. 

Happy Birthday, Jack

In honor of C.S. Lewis’ birthday, it is only fitting that I pay tribute to a man who has been instrumental in my growth as a Christian.

My junior year in college was among the most significant times in my life. I was being faced with some of the most difficult trials I’d experienced in my life, and some harsh realities were being brought into the light. It was a time when God was moving violently in my life. What felt like destruction was actually His way of tearing away the things that stood between Him and me. God had shaken the ground beneath my feet so much that when it finally stopped, all that was left standing was the truth that Jesus was what I really needed. And it was at that point when I began to truly pursue a real relationship with God. It’s safe to say that it was one of the single best things that have ever happened to me.

As a result of God taking hold of my attention, I sought out sermons, and read my bible more diligently than ever before. And as I began to thirst for knowledge about God, the writings of C.S. Lewis became an addiction of mine. I fell in love with the way that he wrote. There was something about the way Lewis described God that ignited a fire in my heart. And C.S. Lewis was there when I needed help pursuing God.

Lewis was a professor of English literature. He called his childhood “blandly Christian,” but spent much of his young life rationalizing against God, professing devout atheism. Upon his conversion, he described himself as “the most reluctant convert in all of England.” He would go on to write some of the most popular books in all of Christian literature. And to his friends, Clive Staples Lewis was simply known as “Jack.”

Romans 1:20 states that creation screams of who God is, and I think few people have ever been so perceptive to those cries as C.S. Lewis. One of my favorite things about Lewis is his ability to compose illustrations that made truths about God so much easier to understand, and even pass on to someone else. Perhaps it was that ease of understanding that made me so passionate. Among his most famous works was the children’s fantasy collection, The Chronicles of Narnia. Although Lewis could write at the highest levels of intellect, through the Chronicles of Narnia, he made the principles of Christianity easy enough for a small child to understand and enjoy. His gift was helping people to understand who God was, and he could do it for people of all ages and reading levels. He certainly did so for me.

In terms of his doctrine, I find many differences between Lewis and myself. But in spite of those differences, Lewis’ words acted as sorts of road signs, pointing me on towards God. And he lit a fire in my soul with the poetic assembly of his stories and ideas. In The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Lewis used a mouse named Reepicheep to show us that size and stature have nothing to do with boldness when pursuing God—that anyone can be courageous if our heart is set on God.

“My own plans are made. While I may, I sail East in Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I row East in my coracle. When that sinks, shall I paddle East with my four paws. Then, when I can swim no longer, if I have not yet reached Aslan's Country, there shall I sink with my nose to the sunrise.”

Chills. Every time. And since first reading his words, I have an inexplicable longing for Aslan’s Country.

Because of Lewis, I am more in love with Jesus than I was before I read his writings. I hope that when my life comes to a close, it bears that same mark—I hope that people will be more in love with Jesus because they knew me. It’s why I think I was put on this earth. Happy birthday, Jack. 

A Man Worth Following

As men, the bible tells us we are called to lead. I think this is most essential in the home—as husbands and fathers. God designed men and women differently for a very specific purpose. Though I’m a single 20-something male, I feel like God allows me the grace to learn new things about this every day. Whether through scripture, through teaching, or through watching and spending time with my married friends, I think I learn something new about the unique roles of men and women every day.

What has me most fascinated today is the ability we as men have to answer this call God has given us in our relationships with women, through the idea of respect. I’ve often heard it said that women want to be loved, and men most desire to be respected. It makes sense, doesn’t it? How many women (and girls) do you know who have shown a desire for someone’s love and attention. So many girls do this in the way they dress, or the way they behave around guys. They dress in a way they know appeals to guys, and they act flirtatiously to hold their attention. It’s not hard to spot, even if you’re not looking that hard.

But isn’t it just as true of most of the guys you know, and their desire for respect? Men are so often trying to seem as “manly” as possible, so that women (not just one, but all) will fawn over them, while other men will look at them without any doubt that, they are, in fact, a “man’s man.” Men are competitive because when you’re the best at something, people respect you. Men work out and go an entire month without shaving so that other men will look at them and be impressed, respecting their manhood.

Men desire respect. And in their desire to be loved, women often give men that respect. It’s a natural process, and it starts with how we were created. But I think our abuse of a woman’s respect, and women’s abuse of men’s love can lead to dysfunction, and there’s a lot of that in this world. But the system itself isn’t a mistake. It can be good.

And what I wanted to point out was the ability we as men have, to take advantage of the respect we are given, and use it for the good of those giving it. I’ve watched a lot of women give men respect, and then follow them into relationships, and then into marriage, and the men were never deserving of their respect in the first place. They get hurt because they followed men who didn’t care about where they were leading them. But as much as that relationship between a man and a woman can hurt either of them, it can also be a very beautiful thing if done right. I’m talking about men who take that respect and use it as their called to do biblically.

When a woman would be willing to date us, or marry us, she has given us exactly what we want and need—respect. She gives us the power to lead, because she’ll follow wherever we go. The bible tells husbands that they are responsible for the sanctification, or spiritual growth, of their wives. Here’s their chance.

Leading isn’t hard. Girls follow bad guys all the time. But leading well can be. And when a woman gives us her respect, we have the opportunity to lead her to the Cross. And what I’m starting to understand is that the best way to do this is not to beat my chest and prove that I am worth following. I think the way to do this is to fall to my knees and admit that I have to follow Someone, too. A man worth respecting isn’t just a man who leads, it’s a man who leads somewhere worth going. And there’s nowhere more worth going than the Cross of Christ. So men, I hope that if you’re not doing this already, you look at what you do with the respect you’re given, and you think seriously about what you’re doing with it, and where you’re leading the people who follow you. 

Faith Like Children

When one of His disciples asked Jesus who the greatest in heaven would be, Jesus answered by presenting a child. He said that if anyone wanted to get into heaven, he’d have to turn and become like a child. And since we know that Jesus also said that He is the only way to God, what Jesus was saying here was that in order to accept the free gift of grace, we have to confess dependence. Jesus was showing that children are perfect examples of this dependence. Their innocence and immaturity is what makes them able to accept grace. And our belief that we are self-sufficient—our independence—is what keeps us from God. When we think we’re ok on our own, it’s a declaration to God that we don’t need Him, and that He’s not everything He says He is.

Somewhere along the way, as we grow up, something in us tells us that we need to be independent. We begin to believe that we can do anything we want, and we don’t need anyone’s help to do it. And when we fail, who is there to catch us? The world can be cruel and unforgiving. Often, we let the people tell us that we are the sum of our failures. But everything’s different when we’re walking with Jesus. When we hold His hand, we may not know where we are, but we’re never lost. When we follow His direction, we may be scared, but we’re never unsafe. When we lean on Him, we may feel weak, but we’re not without strength. And when we fall, His hand is always there to help us up again.

Jesus wants us to realize our own inadequacy, because until we do, we can never fully rely on Him. We were created with a hole in our chest. It’s a hole that can only be filled by God. Jesus knows that, and He wants us to feel complete. So in His mercy, Jesus allows us to feel the pain of failure when we’re on our own. It’s a means of calling us back to Him. He wants us to depend on the only thing that can support us: Himself.  So instead of “growing up” and being good all by ourselves, maybe we ought to try growing into total dependence. Let us be like children who long to follow after their Father. 

Puzzle Pieces

Have you ever thought about how many questions we ask during the course of our lives? Some of them are simple: what will I have for lunch? Will it rain today? What kind of pet do I want? And some are harder to answer: Am I ready to get married? Where will my next paycheck come from? What’s my purpose on this earth? That’s a question I imagine people will be asking until we’re no longer here to ask it anymore. And each time we ask one of these questions, it’s as though we’re picking up a piece to an intricate jigsaw puzzle and searching for it’s place. 

To me, it’s seems clear that the puzzle we’re piecing together couldn’t be here in the first place if there was no one to make it. Maybe you don’t believe Someone had to have made it. Maybe you don’t really even think there is a puzzle at all. But it’s hard to put puzzles together when you don’t believe in puzzles in the first place. For the better part of my life, I’ve been pretty confident that God is the Maker of it all. But more than just the Creator, He is the purpose-Giver.

And I think we were given such intricate and amazing minds so that we could enjoy the journey of figuring it all out. We’re born without answers, and as we grow, we ask questions. With each new experience, we learn. Some of us learn harder lessons than others. And some of us search a little harder than others. But we all start with blank canvases, and when we reach the end of our lives, God has painted a masterpiece.

Each question is a puzzle piece. And every answer we get is a piece put in its place. But the puzzle’s not easy. In fact, I think you could even argue that the more pieces we put together, the further we realize we are from the picture on the box. And one thing that we all have in common is that none of us get to see the finished product before we die. But what about after? I believe some do. I think for those in Jesus, there is opportunity to see it all as it was meant to be. And it’s not just a finished puzzle, but a picture never cut in the first place—a pure, unaltered image of what we all search to find in this life. And I think that view will make the journey worth all the ups and downs it took to get there. We’ll get to see it through the eyes of the One who made it all, standing once for all by His side. And I cannot wait for that day. 

Stories With Jesus

Recently I started to feel an itch somewhere deep inside me in a way I never have before. It was a sort of longing that has grown stronger by the minute. It’s an urge, a craving for something I’ve never thought much about—adventure. Donald Miller writes beautifully on the subject, and I’ve fallen in love with his books. From him, I’ve learned how we ought to try to live better stories, so that our lives will be full of stories worth telling when we’re older.

I’ve reviewed my life and surveyed the contents for the best stories. I’ve got a few good ones. But when I get to heaven, and I’m walking with Jesus face-to-face, what stories will I tell him? And I don’t mean how people tell stories to someone for the first time, as if informing them about events that took place. I mean telling stories the way you do when you’re catching up with all your old friends. Last summer, my best friend got married in New Mexico. All of our closest friends came together and the guys all spent a couple nights in a cabin together. The night before the wedding, we all sat around the fire in what was easily one of the greatest experiences of my life. We reminisced about the lives we’d lived together so far. We remembered back to times when we were living in the same house in college, or when we went to someone’s lake house for a long weekend and stayed out on the water all day long. We were up until the early hours of the following morning, laughing so hard that we cried—and we were telling stories. They weren’t stories that any of us hadn’t heard a hundred times before. But they were stories that we loved telling together over and over again. Those are the kind of stories I’m talking about telling Jesus.

And it’s not as though we even could tell God a story He doesn’t already know. He sees everything we do—everything that happens to us. But if we don’t invite Him into our stories, then that’s what we’d be doing when we’re sitting there with Him—trying to tell Him stories we lived like He didn’t see the whole thing. What I think is most important about the stories we tell Jesus is whether or not He was in them. I want my stories to be about the times He and I shared together. I’ll have eternity to spend with Him, so I’ll want a lot of good memories to talk about.

I think God wants us to tell Him stories like that night around the fire. He wants to reminisce with us about all the best and worst times in our lives. He wants to laugh with us about the times that we embarrassed ourselves in front of a crowd of people, or almost died because we thought jumping off a bridge into a river would be worth the thrill. I think He wants to hear us tell the stories of the times we hurt the worst so that He can watch our faces as we realize—finally—why He let it all happen. 

I’m planning a pretty big trip for the summer, after the snow on the mountains thaws. It’s a trip during which I’ll be on the road by myself for a really, really long time. Normally I’m not crazy about driving alone for too long. But in this case, I can’t wait to get on the road. I’m going to have countless hours in some of the most beautiful places in the country, and the only One I’ll be able to share it with is the One who created it all. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m hoping that when it’s over, I’ll have made a lot memories and lived a lot of stories that I’ll get to talk about with Jesus when I get home.

But what about today? What about the times when we’re not on the open road, chasing adventure, pursuing stories far from home? I think we actually have opportunities for stories a lot more often than we realize. I think every day is a new opportunity to live a great story. But if I’m being honest, I rarely live that way. In fact, most of my days are spent living towards a time when I think I’ll really be doing something that’s “story-worthy.” But each day God gives us is a clean slate—a chance to start a new story. So when I wake up tomorrow, will I live that way? Will you?